This is Not Fine

 

Credit for this familiar image goes to KC Green.

The Orange Man has yet to take office, but already it feels like everything is on fire. So I am here to remind you what to do!

Remember: this chaotic spew of announcements and speculations is intentional. It is called "flooding the zone with sh*t." The theory goes that setting multiple things on fire, day after day, will have the following effects: 

1. It will paralyze a sector of the populace, who won't know which fire to put out first, and will just freeze, going, "I can't believe this is happening!"

2. It will divide and conquer those being attacked, because they will each want the fire at their house to be put out first, and will have screaming fights over priorities while everything burns.

3. It will make a whole swath of people act like mythic ostriches and shove their heads in the sand, singing "La la la, everything's fine! If I don't see the news, it can't hurt me!"

4. It will serve the same function for the Orange Firestarter's team that Colosseum games did for the Roman emperors. The fans will be entertained by the show as people are thrown to the lions! And they'll also be constantly reminded about the risks of standing up to the emperor.

So how should we respond? Here you go, in order:

1. Don't just sit there, try to put out a fire!

 2. Don't fight over which fire to put out! Attacking one another instead of fighting fires is the worst response. Acknowledge that all fires should be extinguished. Work on putting out one of them, while shouting encouragement to others who are putting out other fires. Help one another whenever you can.

3. The ostrich technique is famously ineffective at solving problems! We've been through a firestorm recently, and have all heard a million times about the dangers of doomscrolling. But what is "doomscrolling?" Well, I'd define it as sitting there scrolling your phone after you already learned that a house down the block is on fire, watching videos of it burning from different angles, and reading debates about how the fire started, instead of putting down the phone and going to help your neighbors. 

4. What to do about people cheering as others are thrown to the lions is a huge question. But it should always be secondary to saving people from being eaten! You may need to ignore the jeering crowd, or push them out of your way, or perhaps you can convince some to join you in the rescue effort. Do whatever works in the moment to aid the victims.

And that is my advice!