Vote for Gloop the Goldfish 2020!
You think I’m joking, but I am not. I would vote for Gloop the Goldfish for president. Yes, even if Gloop’s running mate turns out to be an old apple core, or a singleton sock, or a chipped coffee cup. In fact, I’d campaign for Gloop the Goldfish and An Old Apple Core 2020. So let me start now: if they are nominated, I plead with you to vote for them, because anything will be better than four more years of the destructiveness of Team Trump. I know many of my fellow progressives don’t feel that way right now. I see a lot of anger and depression on the left, wrought by the Democratic primaries. A large field has suddenly narrowed, and many have seen their favored candidates drop out of the race. This has made fans of those candidates feel burned by other Democratic voters, and frustrated with the two old straight white men left standing. This week, for example, Warren backers have been mourning, as their fiercely smart and well-prepared candidate fell amidst a media narrativ...