Snake Oil Cures of the 21st Century

 

I have been busily grading term papers, and in my Sociology of the Body class, a number of my students have chosen to write their final papers on supplements that make extraordinary health claims. When they do this, I always search the student product choices out online and scroll down to find the ingredients. Usually these are obfuscated by made-up names--"adaptogenic beta-pyridoxine" is just a heavily embroidered way to write "vitamin B6," or are pure nonsense--"non-transdermal X39" makes as much sense as "powdered unicorn horn."

 

Scientific analysis of herbal supplements hawked online show that many contain little or none of the claimed ingredients in any case. Usually they just contain fillers like microcellulose (basically sawdust), but sometimes they contain ingredients like caffeine (to make the purchaser feel the pills give them a lift), or even ground-up expired prescription drugs (like ED medications added to pills that are supposed to contain "all natural herbal boosts" to supposed sexual prowess). 

 

What really amused me was reading two papers back-to-back, one on a supplement that claims to increase phallic size and another that supposedly treats ADHD with nootropics that will give the user "logic" and "focus." I found that both mainly contained vitamin B12, with supposed trace amounts of fairy tale dust--oh, sorry, "horny goat weed" and "AvailOm from algae." You could just go buy vitamin B12 pills and get 50 times more pills for your money! Oh, but then you'd lack the placebo label telling you you were about to add inches to your phallic length or fix your "neurospicy brain" (yes, that was the term used in a paid promotional social media post by an influencer that is featured on the sales webpage). 

 

We have this vision of healthcare and medication today that says we have advanced greatly from the bad old Victorian days, when people sold snake oil cures containing mystery ingredients. (And yes, one of the popular ones was supposed to be literal oil of snake!) 

 

But the reality is that people are just as gullible today as they were in 1880. It amazes me how many people seem to be blissfully unaware that "supplements" are not regulated as "drugs" are in the U.S.. And don't you think that if there were really an "all-natural treatment" with no side effects that magically cured brain fog, anxiety, phallic insecurity, and reversed the signs of aging, everyone would have taken it by now, and we'd all be frolicking in endless youth, libido, and "flow state" concentration?

 

You can get depressed ruminating on the many millions of dollars spent on snake oil today. There are too many desperate people who can't afford the healthcare they need--and too much distrust in empirical science. 

 

But I try to stick to bemusement. "X39 is a STEM CELL ACTIVATION patch elevating GHK-Cu peptides known to enhance stem cell activity and reset 3,000 - 4,000 genes to a younger and healthier state within 24 hours, with multiple anti-aging and health benefits. Seeking a solution to your pain, inflammation, declining stamina? Photobiomodulation therapy with X39 patches may be right for you!" Oh, absolutely, if the sun shines on my skin through a patch containing glucose and (supposedly) some amino acids, it will "correct the flow of energy," reversing aging and eliminating pain. Excuse me while I go paint the entire surface of my skin with sugar water in which I have dissolved a tenth of an amino acid supplement pill--I'll be back in a week, 10 years younger!